the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize