U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize