Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
