I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
