You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
