mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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