i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
