just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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