you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
