I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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