he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
