My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
