we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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