what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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