I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
