we're blogging at a bar
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
