We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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