$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
