just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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