Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Vodka?
Forever.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
