Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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