I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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