my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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