I am spending my child support on dildos
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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