i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
