he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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