The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
