is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
