If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
