whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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