So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
