hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
