3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Still dying that you shit outside
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
