OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
