i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
