I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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