people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
