Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
