They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
