Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
