Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
