i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
