chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
