So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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