I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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