Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
handjob tips. give me some.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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