My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
