Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
