Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
