and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
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Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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