Porn is love you can see.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
