wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
