Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize