Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
