so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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