So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
