honey bunches of taint.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
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