He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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